About Relationships

The agony of the D-word is quite tragic to be comprehended by others. Divorce is a kind of social stigma in people’s lives wherein they are specially remarked on their adopting this state of separation. The fact is nobody would like to be separated from their spouse with whom they had vowed to remain inseparable. But, life is kind of a game, the rules of which are still not pronounced and hence, the situation of divorces has become very frequent in our society. The complication of today’s life is definitely playing a major role in people’s lives wherein we fail to trust the strength in marriages. The resolution of happiness is not in separation but when staying together becomes inevitable, divorce comes as the last straw and if you’re a person filing for divorce in Georgia, the help of the Athens GA divorce attorneys will guide you safely through the hassles of this procedure.

A divorce case is filed on different grounds and on varied reasons depending on the couple’s rationale for not being life-partners. In Georgia, it has been well-noticed that a great percentage of divorce cases are the uncontested divorce petitions. However, the contested divorce scenarios are also happening around us in abundance but an uncontested divorce would definitely indulge in the partners being separated in friendly terms and certainly reduces the cost and money behind the same.

Uncontested divorces are mostly preferred where the question of children is involved in the whole situation. To make children and kids pass through the trauma of this separation is certainly not feasible and stringent care should be taken on the parts of both the spouses that they can greatly make the divorce circumstance as calm as possible and hence in such cases uncontested divorces would greatly help to keep the children from the potential drama of contested divorces.

However, even if you choose to opt for the uncontested divorces it does not mean that you have to nod your head in approval for the conditions and demands of your partner. You may have your instances of conditions and to see to it that your conditions are also given priority and due value, the support of the Athens GA divorce attorneys is a must as in they will be able to take you out through this mess, practically unscathed. Uncontested divorces do not mean succumbing to the pressure of your partner. It just means that you do not intend to separate on ‘fighting terms’ from each other and simply would like to make the whole situation as amicable and hospitable it can and for that you are going to try the uncontested divorce approach.

Athens GA divorce attorneys have a deep knowledge and insight in this matter and hence would very well like to properly guide and direct you through this unforgettable scenario, however painlessly they can. Nonetheless, Athens GA divorce attorneys would never advise you to go for the uncontested divorces if you have been an object of physical abuse, and if they are sure that your partner hasn’t at all learnt to play fair, only then they would like to go for the contested divorces at the court of law.

Taking the decision of divorce is painful but it is more painful to actually be handed ‘divorce’ by the law. Athens GA divorce attorneys are well-versed in the subject and they will utilize their expertise, knowledge and skills in the right way so that you can be guided through this channel as painlessly as possible.

Rashmi Menon takes deep concern about the growing increase of divorce cases in the society and the role played by Athens GA divorce attorneys to solve divorce cases in an amicable manner.

The decision of divorce does not take up much time, however, the completion of a divorce case is not so easy and drags on for quite a long period, which explains the trauma of the parties involved in divorce. The word divorce by itself is a painful term instigating the total feeling of uneasiness and misery. The whole procedure of the divorce scenario is nerve-racking and adds further complications when the question of alimony comes into the picture. If there is no mutual consent between both the parties, divorce turns out to be extremely mean and ugly and an important source where one could turn in for advice would be the Athens GA Divorce Attorneys.

The underlining idea behind taking up the issue of alimony in the divorce case is to provide a sort of permanent income to the spouse who was the dependent one in the relationship. The question of alimony would only arise on the disability of one of the spouse as being unable to earn on their own. Alimony further adds to the misery of any divorce case wherein the situation worsens upon the need to emphasize and prove the

dependent spouse as really incompetent.

Alimony payments are mostly of two forms, permanent or temporary. Certain alimony payments are paid so as to safeguard the family status during the divorce trail. On the other hand, permanent alimony payments begin after the closure of the divorce case and the amount and period of the entire settlement depends on each case, wherein every case is treated with a different interest analyzing the spectrum of the circumstance.

Athens GA Divorce Attorneys are very well-versed with the entire proceedings of the alimony cases and it would be worthwhile to seek their guidance and support in case of such mishaps. In certain cases, the spouses would agree to settle the alimony outside the court, which would then be added onto the divorce statement. However, when there is dispute on these grounds, then it becomes important to include the strong

expertise of the Athens GA Divorce Attorneys.

GA family law courts analyze each of the alimony cases carefully and decide whether alimony is appropriate in the particular case or is it not. Once the alimony is decided, then the amount in discussion can be paid as lump-sum or periodically or as parts of both. There is also the part of indirect alimony which involves providing benefits and services to the recipient spouse in the form of life insurance, medical insurance and mortgage payments.

Any decision on alimony is based on several factors which mainly includes living conditions of the spouse during marriage, duration of the marital relationship, physical and mental condition of both the sides, financial status of the parties and any other appropriate factors.

Athens GA Divorce Attorneys have excellent experience in the area of divorce and alimony and know the exact way to deal with tricky situations and have been providing the right guidance to the needy people for considerable time now. They understand that the entire situation of divorce includes making decisions which are held true for life and Athens GA Divorce Attorneys dedicate their time and knowledge to see to it that each of their clients receive due attention and the right direction to come out of this tragic situation.

The author researches upon alimony situations and collects information about the role played by Athens GA Divorce Attorneys to efficiently solve such cases. Athens GA divorce attorneys have vast knowledge and experience in the area of divorce and alimony issues.

When we think about divorce, surely a shudder runs through the spine of every married individual wherein the ‘D-word’ pertains to an extremely sensitive and scary term. It is a known fact that many of the married couples rush into this decision without even understanding the full implication of the term. However, when a marital relationship becomes extremely destructive to be carried on, divorce remains the only solution. The intense misery and pain suffered by the people involved in divorce is quite excruciating and cannot be shared by anyone. But, with the help of experienced lawyers like the Roswell GA divorce attorneys, the entire procedure could be very much simplified.

Uncontested divorce cases depict one of the easiest scenarios in divorces and are mainly referred to situations wherein the husband and wife agree to all the terms in the divorce case including child support, child custody, terms of alimony and property division. The basis of uncontested divorce is that the separation is on very amicable terms without being dramatic and frenzied.

Not only does the uncontested divorces reduce much of the tension and drama of the situation by being able to solve the matter outside the premises of the court, such situations require considerably less amount of money to settle the cases and Roswell GA divorce attorneys would very much help to conclude such cases in a very affordable manner.

When children are involved in the marital relationship, uncontested divorce should be selected and preferred to because divorce situations in court mostly get dirty and ugly and this affects the children in a very negative manner. Many of the couples intend to end the relationship in a friendly manner so as to maintain a healthy relationship with each other, especially in the case of child custody issues. But, all said and done, the couples may not agree to all the criteria of the divorce and may have difference of opinions on various issues. Roswell GA divorce attorneys would dedicate their time and expertise to deal with any situation arising out of the divorce case and will try their level best to make the couples see eye-to-eye. Once all the issues have been resolved, the case can be submitted to the family law court for the approval of divorce.

Even though uncontested divorce option offers a number of advantages, every divorce case cannot be an uncontested one. Uncontested divorce cases offer minimal inconvenience to both the parties and offer the benefit of resolving the entire issue amidst a group of people instead of making it a public scene. However, Roswell GA divorce attorneys’ advice clients not to go in for uncontested divorce option only in certain cases like there are situations wherein it is known that the spouse will not play a reasonable game or in cases like domestic violence and torture had been involved. Also, it is important to know that if a fair negotiation is not possible, then uncontested divorce cases will only be a waste.

The entire circumstance of divorce is very tricky and disturbing. Still, if the mishap has already happened, then the solution is to be able to arise from this puddle unharmed and the expertise and knowledge of Roswell GA divorce attorneys will definitely help people to make the best of the unfortunate situation of divorce.

The author likes to research and collect information on the expertise of Roswell GA divorce attorneys. More information on Roswell GA divorce attorneys is widely available to be well-informed of their professionalism.

One of the biggest issues divorcees face is learning how to love someone else again. According to relationships experts, the divorce process is one of the most difficult many of us will ever face. We have compiled some helpful advice to assist divorced singles reinvigorate their lives and to prepare them for dating once again.

When you do start dating again, it’s unavoidable and inevitable that an awkward moment may pop up during your dating experience, the particulars regarding your divorce will get discussed during the date to some degree. We suggest you practice your divorce explanation and keep it light hearted – don’t make a point of divulging every gory detail. It’s in all likelihood a long story to tell, but do summarize a version and learn to say it off by heart a few times. This way, when it does come up you are able to chat about it promptly and with limited emotions. No reason to dig up bad feelings here, your date does not really want to hear the whole account in any case.

Reignite old pastimes. Perhaps you had a passion for art before you were married. Go buy yourself a canvas. Many divorced people learn to rediscover themselves through interests that were forgotten because married life did not permit it.

Shrug off your negative self-image. Feeling bad about yourself will only attract bad elements and bad habits. Write down a list of your best qualities and keep reminding yourself what your strong points are. Continue to talk yourself up.

Do you hate your job? What a great way to move on from your ex than to also move on to a new career! If you have been stuck in a rut and a boring routine for years, now is the perfect moment to spread your wings again.

Face Book has brought together the most unlikely reunions. This social network site is the largest of its kind and is responsible for reuniting long lost friends, school reunions and many other social events. If you are a little stuck for ideas on expanding your social life, Face Book offers countless opportunities to become involved socially both online and offline.

Being in a long term relationships often contributes to losing touch with social advancements. If you are recently divorced, we urge you to take a look at how online dating is changing the landscape of love. Online dating is now the new cool, just ask any young technologically savvy person. With computers and mobile devices playing such a pivotal role in connection people, online dating is at the forefront of this technology.

Plan your return to the land of dating strategically. Any plan, whether it be for social or business endeavors needs to be well thought out for a successful execution. We recommend making yourself the best possible person inside and out, offer to help others in need when you can, build your own self worth through diet, exercise, partaking in personal interests and show the world what a special person you are and become at peace with yourself.

TodaysDating specializes in online romantic connections and provides free dating websites as well as free online dating including article services and reviews for internet dating sites . Check it out today! it’s 100% free – register, then type in your zipcode to find your match.

For you who have built a long term relationship with children involve, may feel that your life has ended when your life partner is no longer in your life and it is true, you have to go through a death, a letting go.

Getting the news

For some people after getting the news, knew that it was coming and are happy and relief that one of them had the courage to do so and for others it is a constant nightmare, it is as if you have to live without a part of you and you don’t know if it is possible.

In the beginning it would seem all of the feeling, memories keep flooding in and it is difficult to let them go although you were told that it is good for you to let them go, your heart hurt all the time for that meant is your relationship as you know it to be is ended and you do not want to go their even in your thoughts.

What will I do with my life

Someone please wake me up, tell me that this is not true, that my world that I once knew is not ended and I am not on my own again, like I was before I got married are part of your daily thoughts.

What will I do with my life, how my family will look at me, will they consider me to be a failure, do I have to go back and live at my parents again to save money until I get on my feet, someone please make it stop, this nightmare are also part of the haunting thought and feelings.

Cannot plan ahead

You realize that you cannot plan ahead, neither for the day; you live minute by minute that is all you can hope for, you realize that you are not useful at work yet you have to make an effort and act like you are there.

You realize eating is not part of your thinking, although you know in time you will get through this, you still are not there.

Emotional ups and down

You go months with these feeling and the emotional ups and down from love to betrayal, to hurt, sadness and anger, then you realize there are people around you can talk to, not the same people that you been complaining and whining to, a new group of people.

Demands from you

The kids, depending on their age, when they are small indirectly demands from you to come back to reality and deal with your pain in the chest and in your solar plexus, the heart.

You hope when your children are older they can do things for themselves so you ask them the least to do.

You are at a crossroad as an adult to change your children’s life by getting them involve in your problems with their other parent or you can not blame or use words that will affect your children view of their parents.

Get up the courage

You finally get up the courage to say to yourself that you are not going to let one person who does not like you anymore dictate to you mentally that you are nothing without them.

You realize that with deep reflection and work on yourself, you are lovable and you allow other people to come into your life and have a new relationship.

No it is not easy to start over for this is what it feels like yet it is in your best interest for you to make that next step and allow yourself to give and receive love again.

Conclusion: You may or may not fine comfort in knowing that others have past through the difficulty that you are going through and was able to make a life with joy again.

The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author’s byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of http://trans-formers.com if you want more information on relationships in your life you can find it at: http://www.trans-formers.com/relationship-break-up.html

Remarriage. It’s the “blend” setting on the Cuisinart of life. The kids, the finances, the friends, the pets, the former in-laws-all a breeze compared to blending your stuff into the same home-sweet-home and learning, up close and personal, why it’s said, “One person’s treasure is another’s junk.”

You’ve both got a house full of furniture, art, knickknacks, and–’fess up–a ton of crap that by any standard belongs in a garage sale at best, more likely in the trash. But it’s your crap, thank you very much, and you’re attached to it: the molded-to-his-backside recliner with cup holder and duct-tape-repaired rip…the tattered-but-beloved bed canopy your great-grandmother crocheted in the previous century…the paint-by-number landscape your grown-up son did as a ten-year old…the ceramic frog collection you started as a kid that now occupies an entire bookcase. It’s no small task to find a place for all that stuff let alone tastefully mix early American milk glass with contemporary chrome ‘n glass. Here’s the kind of conflict you can face:

When my ex and I married, I moved into his house. We did okay until it came to what was the ugliest painting since men began sketching on the walls of caves. It was hung where seen within seconds of walking through our front door. A gift from a favorite uncle, my ex had a sentimental attachment to it. Now, if the uncle were prone to dropping by unannounced, was obscenely wealthy, and my ex was the sole heir, I suppose I could have learned to love it. No such luck. The uncle lived 2,000 miles away, was infirm, and of modest means. Nothing I said persuaded my ex to get rid of it until I had a stroke of brilliance. I refused to invite people to our home. As I explained to my ex, I did not want people to think I had the bad taste to display that so-called art. My ex wanted to “compromise” and move it to another room. I preferred a bonfire. We settled on the garage.

Believe me, my hubby Dale became twice as attractive when I learned he lived on a boat and possessed neither a recliner nor “art.” When we got married, he had nothing (I’m not kidding, nothing) to move into my house that I had happily decorated to my precise taste. All he wanted was about 3 feet of closet space. With a little pushing and condensing, I squeezed out just about that much. Oh, the joy!

I suppose the perfect solution is to move into a new house where you each have your own room to display the can’t-let-it-go stuff and hire a decorator for the rest of the house. But that’s impractical, not to mention ridiculously expensive. Most of us are stuck negotiating what to do with all that stuff.

Remarriage. Yep, it’s a challenge. It’s enough to make one seriously contemplate Katharine Hepburn’s approach. She said, “I often wonder whether men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” I dunno, Katharine. Sharing the nest with your sweetheart is pretty darned nice. So, think of all that stuff-blending as an opportunity to score points (or what my hubby and I call Frequent Foreplay Miles). If you do, you’ll find yourselves each giving in a little and before you know it, you’ll have your cozy nest just the way it should be, recliner, ceramic frogs and all.

Shela Dean is a relationship coach, speaker, and Amazon bestselling author of Frequent Foreplay Miles – Your Ticket to Total Intimacy, available through Amazon.com and other booksellers. Her book and advice have helped many couples in their journey to improve intimacy and strengthen marital bonds.

Losing the love of your life is not an easy process. If you are going through that your journey might be a little easier if you know these three keys to letting go your partner.

KEY 1

Understand what your partner really wants

For a person losing a partner and that partner dead set on divorcing after a year of separation things can be pretty trying. Trying the come to grips with the fact that your partner does not want you anymore can be a hard process indeed, but its something that you have to face, not matter what has been said and done. Your former spouse has their reasons why they want to let go of the relationship and the first thing you need to do is understand why they feel that way, and that’s not so you can talk them around, but that’s so you can see the reason and find some peace in it.

I have to be frank here. I was a mess when my partner told me she wanted me to leave and that she wanted to officially separate. On the day some 14 months later when she divorced me, I was crushed but over the years I have come toe realize why she left me and gave up on our marriage. I have to say that I don’t hold her to blame for anything, I was a lot to handle at the time.

KEY 2

Understand that God works in mysterious ways.

While it’s true that God hates divorce he certainly isn’t against allowing tragedy to come into our life in order to make us into better people. It’s been over 14 years since I broke up with my former wife and I love her more today then when we were together. God has been able to do a lot of work on me as a single man that He might not have been able to do while I was married.

Some people God wants all to himself. It might be hard to get your attention when you have a love in your life, but when your break up you can be sure that God wants to fill that void in your life with His love. Since my wife and I broke up my relationship with Jesus and God the Father has grown to levels that could have only be formally dreamt about.

Now is about the time that it would be good of God to restore my relationship with her. That would be a good thing, but not a thing that I expect God to do for me, rather it is only His will that I want done.

Our God is a mighty God and a God that wants all of His people to love Him. It isn’t beyond him to allow what is going on in your life to bring you closer to Himself. Take the opportunity and get to know Him better.

KEY 3

See things from eternal perspective

God is into carving out our character and there is nothing like a divorce to cause much pain in ones life. Use that pain to grow. Seek out a counselor, preferably a prayer counselor that you can go to, to address your pain. Losing a life partner is something almost too big to recover from, but recover you must as God has a future for you and plans for your life. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (New King James Version)

Let me pray for you.

Father

I can only imagine the pain in this person’s life. If they love their partner as I did they would be in a place that is very hard to bear. I ask that you might comfort them and send good people into their lives to comfort them. I ask that you might comfort them and bring yourself close to them. I ask that you lead them into the hands of a powerful counselor and that you lead them every step of the way ahead. I pray also that their former partner might find some peace in this very difficult time.

In Jesus name I ask

Amen

Matthew Robert Payne was born in 1967. At the age of 8 he was saved and became a Christian in a Baptist church. At 27 he was baptized in water and in the Holy Spirit by surprise. Today he teaches the Word of God online and manages people who do free personal prophecy online. Matthew is not afraid to speak the truth and new things as a Teacher of the Word. Visit us for your free personal prophecy today!

Separation can be difficult and in times like this, I know I might have wanted someone saying nice things and giving me positive instructions. I have to say most of my articles are written from the perspective of the person being left and might not suit the person leaving. But read on even if you are the person leaving, I wouldn’t waste an hour without writing something worthwhile. This might be a good email to send a friend going through this difficult time. Now let’s get to the nine good things.

The first: At least you had one love.

If you have lost the love of your life at least you have had one! Some people are so ugly or have so many disadvantages that they never marry. Why I know a few wonderful ladies in their thirties that have never been married. If you have had a love of your life well you can be glad about that!

The second : At least you know what making love is.

Sex sex sex. The whole world wants to talk sex sex sex. It’s all about how good you are in bed, how fit and tanned and wealthy you are. And did you know, it’s all about sex. Once it was a forbidden subject at the dinner table, now it’s frequently talked about at the dinner table.

Many people are in relationships that are only sex. They are in lust. If you clicked through to read this, you at once had a love of your life and so you most definitely have made love and that is something great you can remember.

The third: At least you can fall in love.

Some people can never find a person that they can love. And you have already found a person that you have loved. That has to be a good thing. Even better that you should pray for them and romance them and see if you can win them back.

The fourth: You know what it is like to be held close in bed.

Not being dirty but some of the best times I had in bed with my former wife was just holding her close as she lit up a smoke after we had made love. It’s a nice thing to be naked in bed with your wife or husband and to be warm on a cold night. Jesus is a great partner but He does not often come to bed and keep you warm like a partner. Some people have never felt that intimate touch and of holding each other.

The fifth and most important: Losing your partner is like how Jesus feels about losing people to hell.

Jesus was often asked if He was going to marry on earth. He never did as He said that His bride was going to be the people who had their faith in Him, pledge their life to Him and obey Him like they would a husband.

Many single women in Israel would have loved to marry Jesus, not one of them did. But He died on a cross to pay for the sins of the whole world and He still has His arms out beckoning you for an embrace.

Losing the love of your life is just like Him losing your best friend to hell one day if they do not know Jesus personally. If you know the pain of loss of a loved one, you know the tears in Jesus’ eyes when He cried. “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Are you lost? Have you come to this point in life without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? I want to get serious with you before we get to the last four points.

Why not consider these scriptures in any New Testament of the Bible. Read the scriptures out aloud and write down your answers on a pad! Print out this article and take the time to read the scriptures out aloud to yourself. It’s like you are taking a test here in English and even if you don’t know the Bible you can answer the questions. You can show a Christian friend the answers in the future or send them to me in an email. Okay now get ready. Read aloud and then answer the questions.

Romans 3:23

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

So what does this verse say to you?

Romans 6:23

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So what does this verse say to you?

John 3:3

3 In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again

Why did Jesus come to die?

John 14:6

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

What does this say to you?

Romans 10:9-11

9That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

What does this say to you?

2 Corinthians 5:15

15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

What does this say to you?

Revelation 3:20

20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

What does this say to you?

Take the time to print this article off and answer the questions. Are you ready to invite Jesus into your heart? You’ve lost a loved one and you wish they were with you and everything was okay and things could be as good as when you were married. Jesus can heal a broken heart, but first of all He wants to come into your heart. Won’t you invite Him in?

Do you know a born again Christian that prays for you? Of course you do. If you are not a Christian and these scriptures have shown you a need in your life for Jesus why don’t you ring your friend and ask them how to give your life to Jesus? They would be more then happy to pray for you.

If you want to pray now and accept Jesus and invite Him into your life you can pray this prayer from your heart.

“Heavenly Father, I have sinned against you. I want forgiveness for all my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me and rose again. Father, I give you my life to do with as you wish. I want Jesus Christ to come into my life and into my heart. This I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

If you have not got a friend that is praying for you, please write to me at my email address at my web site. Even if you have a friend that you have prayed with please write.

If you are a Christian, a good book where I got those scriptures from is “Share Jesus without fear”, By William Fay. ISBN 080541839-3. William has shared the Gospel message with 25,000 people one to one in coffee shops and airports and all over the place. It is the very best book you can read and put into practice.

The sixth: You know for real now that you are worthy of love.

If you have not had a significant relationship you can never be sure that you are worthy of romantic love. Losing the love of your life means that you had love in your life and you are worthy. If you are worthy once you may be worthy twice hey? I don’t personally believe in second marriages for born again Christians and I share that in the ten scriptures you should consider before divorce part one and two.

The seventh: You have a lot in common with up to fifty percent of adults that have had relationships.

Nearly more marriages fail than those that make a go of it. It gives you so much in common with such a huge segment of the market. Soon enough you can heal and join a dating site on the Internet. (I wonder if you’re laughing or taking me seriously? I have had three marriage proposals from Internet sites, LOL)

The eighth: You have had a person that is close to you tell you honestly all your faults.

Parents so often do not help us iron out all our faults. Some of them they are aware of and they never even mention them. But if you have lost someone that you love you can be sure that they have told you. And if they haven’t, take them out to dinner and ask them if they could take the time to write a list of all your faults and you will shout them dinner in return.

You can be sure that if you do it right with the right, attitude, a dinner with your estranged spouse where you are not going to get defensive but honestly want to take a tape recorder and let them tell you all your faults and why they have left you or they can’t go on with the marriage will be very beneficial to both of you.

The ninth You can learn from your mistakes.

Better to do step eight and get to know your faults and then use your breakdown to work on inner healing to address your faults, than to try and place all the blame on your spouse and not get on and get better.

Okay let me leave you with a prayer.

Dear Father,

Bless this person. Lead them to counselors that can heal their pain and lead them into good and healthy life-giving relationships. Give them the courage to face their former partner and take a tape recorder and listen to the truth and adjust their life. Lord I pray that you heal the broken marriages and you help people seek wise counsel and to always mend a broken marriage with support and counseling rather then toss it away. I pray that you will see this message put on web-sites and emailed to people going through divorce and that many people may pass this message on to every person they know could benefit.

I ask in Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Matthew Robert Payne can be found on any search on Google. He is a committed born again Christian and has a very deep love affair with Jesus Christ. He runs a free personal prophecy website where you can request a free personal message off God at http://www.personal-prophecy-free.net Visit him today

Too many people feel that it is better to be in an unhappy relationship than to be alone. We as a society put to much emphasis on the joy a romantic relationship can bring and not enough emphasis on being happy with one’s self.

What people so often forget is that dating is a means to an end, marriage.

Dating is not a substitute for true friendships. Relying on one person for all of your emotional and sexual needs is setting yourself up for failure. To hear some people tell the story, dating and romantic relationships are supposed to prepare a person for marriage – and yet people often begin dating at around twelve and marry in their late twenties. This leaves far too much time to date and not take the process seriously.

There is a fundamental problem here.

Relationships in the early teens to the early are treated as disposable, in fact parents tend to demand that teen relationships should be treated as disposable relationships. One is expected to spend large quantities of time and invest many emotions into a relationship that is never meant to last. This teaches people that when things get too difficult, just throw it all away and walk out on the problems that may exist in the relationship. If it is to hard to stay in a relationship during the difficulties of high school life, then what will happen during adult relationships, when the rent is late and one party loses a job?

Being in a series of one- to three-year relationships does not prepare a person for real commitment.

Another flaw of the current dating system is the idea of co-habitation. This is supposed to allow people to “test drive” their future marriage partner. The problem here is that one person’s idea of the commitment level might differ vastly from the other’s.

Many couples in college decide to live together as a way to save money and to get sex on a regular basis. This is a horrible idea. One person might believe that they will marry and live happily together after graduation while the other sees it as merely convenient in the moment.

The less committed person is often forced into incredibly difficult situations. For instance, the less committed party falls in love with some one else. If he was not living with the other person, he could simply break off the relationship and pursue the other prospect, but since he co-habitats he cannot easily leave. He is therefore more inclined to continue to live with a person who he will begin to dislike progressively more.

The live-in girlfriend will become confused about why her once somewhat loving boyfriend has become increasingly distant and the new love interest might be tempted to forget about the boy purely because it appears he cannot or will not leave his current relationship. No one is the better because of this situation, and it leaves everyone confused and heartbroken.

If the boy had simply been encouraged to not live with another person until he was certain of his intentions then the whole situation could have been avoided.

Recently, many people have come up with reasons as to why the divorce rate is as high as it is. The explanation has nothing to do with religious beliefs or anything else. It is simple. People are trained from the time they are preteens and for 15 years after that to treat their romantic partners as disposable sources of emotional support and pleasure.

If marriage is to be taken seriously, then dating, the path to marriage, must be treated with equal respect. If, as parents, you seek to raise emotionally-stable children and emotionally-mature adults, then you should encourage your children to take those teen romances seriously. Teach your children that the childhood romance should be treated with the utmost respect, just as you would expect a marriage to be treated with the utmost respect.

Abbigail Nabors works as a church secretary and writes in her spare time. If you are looking for advice to help you through the divorce process, our website provides helpful relationship and divorce advice for both men and women: http://www.divorcethinktank.com/blog/

CNN recently reported that divorce has a permanently bad affect on your mental and physical health. In my case, NOT getting a divorce would have been bad for my mental, and his physical, health. Sometimes we just blow it. Maybe we were too young to get married, we looked for love in the wrong place, or we didn’t know when to just say, “No!” Then, we come to our senses and divorce is the answer.

Having said that, divorce sucks no matter what. The majority of divorced people have regrets. They are sorry they threw in the towel and wish they’d tried harder. We used to be forced to try harder because it was legally difficult to get a divorce. Now, in most states, citing “irreconcilable differences” is enough, at least as far as the judge is concerned. Have you ever wondered what differences are so irreconcilable that, for example, the 20-year togetherness of Sean Penn and Robin Wright is kaput? Let’s think about it for a minute . . .

Every couple has differences they “reconcile” every day. He’s a dog person, she’s a cat person. He loves eggplant, it makes her gag. She’s crazy about opera, he’s a heavy metal freak. He loves to camp, she’s afraid of bugs. His favorite TV show is demolition derby, hers is Days of our Lives. She loves to scrapbook, he’s into chain saw art. Differences. They make us interesting. True, they sometimes present real challenges. She’s Catholic, he’s Jewish-how do you raise the kids? He’s believes in spanking, she doesn’t-how do you discipline the kids? She likes to travel, he’s a homebody-how do you spend vacation time? Challenging, yes. Irreconcilable, no.

So at what point do differences really become irreconcilable? It’s the moment when you run out of the energy and desire it takes to do the hard work. Admittedly, there are times when you simply can’t do more, don’t want to do more, and just want out. That’s okay. However, except in limited situations, e.g., where one refuses to stop smacking the other one around or refuses to give up side nooky, when a couple splits based on “irreconcilable differences” it really means they simply gave up. Maybe this is a distinction without a difference. But perhaps more couples would go that extra mile if, when contemplating divorce, they ask themselves, “Are our differences really irreconcilable, or are we quitting because we’ve run out of steam?”

If you find yourself envying your single friends, or you or your sweetie are spending way too much time on thin ice or in the dog house, maybe it’s time to put the attitude brakes on and make a U-Turn in the way you think about your still-significant-other. Before you reach the end of your emotional rope, try this: Take a quiet moment to think of times when your sweetheart made you think you’re the luckiest person on the planet. Those times don’t have to be the stuff of epic romance novels, just sweet times. Maybe it’s the day you planted the now fully matured roses, or sat on a bench holding hands enjoying the view, or cooked Thai food together for the first time. Reliving those memories just might give you the oomph to work a tad harder at keeping your marriage together. Do it everyday. It’s like vitamins-taking one won’t make you healthy, but taking them every day is a step in the right direction. What have you got to lose?

Getting married is easy. Staying together often takes work. But remember this: There’s only one thing as good as new love fireworks and it’s this: The contented intimacy that comes with time and experience, with having grown old together. Hanging in there. It’s worth it.

Shela Dean is a Relationship Happiness Coach, speaker, and author of Frequent Foreplay Miles – Your Ticket to Total Intimacy. Her book and advice have helped many couples in their journey towards improving intimacy and strengthening marital bonds.