About Relationships

Girls – if you’re just starting out with online dating then these tips should help you hit the ground running.

DO: Use a good quality, recent photograph

Posting a good profile picture is the most important thing you can do when starting off in online dating. Most people scan pictures before looking closer at a profile so making sure yours is a good photo of you, and not one which is blurry, unflattering or from twenty years ago will make sure your online profile is not lost among the masses in this crucial first hurdle.

DON’T: Write an autobiography

It’s sensible to assume that most people have a fairly short attention span when it comes to flicking through online dating profiles. If you want yours to be read, therefore, your profile shouldn’t come across as a long and laborious read. Instead, use bullet points or sound bites so visitors can tell they can easily get an idea of who you are.

DO: Show your unique qualities

Too many online dating profiles say all the same things, try and steer instead towards what makes you stand out from all the other dating profiles out there. Common terms to avoid include ‘fun-loving’, ‘good sense of humour’ and things like ‘I enjoy going to the cinema and eating good food’ – so does everyone else. Instead, try to shine by using a few lines of interesting or unusual facts about you which show your distinctive qualities.

DON’T: Settle for a text-only relationship

It might seem like fun at first, but a relationship based on written words alone is not usually what most women are looking for with online dating. If you find your man is hooked on messaging, texting and emailing then it’s time to get him out into the open and meet for real – otherwise it might all just be about feeding his ego. Aim to meet your online dating partners after around seven to ten days so you don’t end up wasting time and energy on unsuitable men.

DO: Hedge your bets

Try to avoid committing yourself to a single, drawn-out date with one man over a weekend and organising your life around it – it could turn out to be a bit of a disappointment. It’s better to organise a few short dates – usually it’s quite easy to tell if you might be interested within the first few minutes. There’s nothing wrong with, say, meeting one dating partner for Saturday lunch, one for drinks in the evening and a third for Sunday brunch. A first meeting shouldn’t be too serious.

DON’T: Inconvenience yourself early on

Beware of agreeing to a date all the way across town for a first meeting. On a first date it’s best to meet him somewhere near where you live or work so that it’s not a major inconvenience. Coffee dates at a nearby cafe during the day are good, because this way you can leave soon if it’s not going too well. If you think it’s not working out then you can simply say something like: ‘I don’t really think there’s a connection, but thanks so much for the coffee.’ He’ll respect your honesty and you won’t have to worry about making him feel bad, as you might do by saying no after a longer date.

match.com is the UK’s best known dating site where someone meets their match every ten minutes. Start your love story at match.com.

How long do you need before you can tell the person you are dating thinks you are ‘the one’? A year? A month? Just a few weeks?

According to academic journal ‘Archives of Sexual Behavior’, we should be able to tell if the person we are dating is really, really into us in less than 10 seconds, at least if that person’s a man. Because if a man looks into a woman’s eyes for over 8.2 seconds, says the journal, they are smitten.

But while it seems the longer a man looks into the eyes of the woman he’s dating, the more interested he is, the same is apparently not true of the fairer sex…

The research:

Researchers used hidden cameras to track the eye movements of 115 students while they met and spoke to actors and actresses. They then asked the students to rate how attractive they found the person they were speaking with.

The results:

The study revealed a stark difference between the men and the women who were tested.

The men in the study held a woman’s gaze for an average of 8.2 seconds if they found them beautiful, going down to just 4.5 seconds on average if they did not find them particularly attractive.

Women, however, looked at their male counterparts for the same amount of time whether or not they found them attractive.

Why the difference?

The researchers concluded that while men use eye contact to look for fit and fertile mates, women are more wary of attracting unwanted attention since they can risk unwanted pregnancy and the potential to become a single mother.

What we think:

It’s all very well trying to measure how long the person we are dating is looking at us, but other environmental factors could be at work which might lead to a big misunderstanding if we take this research too seriously when dating.

The problem with this outcome…

While a non-stop gaze might be one way to tell if the man we are dating is in love, a continuous stare for more than eight seconds can come across as a little unnerving for a woman (count it out – eight seconds is actually a really long time to look into someone’s eyes).

And what about if you’re a woman who wants to show the man you’re dating that you’re interested? Evolution seems to have removed our ability to give naturally clear signals in case we might attract the wrong type of mate.

How to give the right cues if you like someone

Body language is a really good way to show how you feel, whether you are a man or a woman. A simple touch on the arm or, if you’re a man, a touch on the lower back to lead your lady through the door, for example, speaks volumes.

Small bits of physical contact give a strong signal to your dating partner that you feel comfortable in their presence and perfectly prepared to relate to them physically – a great start for a more informal kind of relationship.

Smiling is another great way to show you enjoy the company of your dating partner and it’s easy to forget to do this if you’re concentrating too hard on making a good impression with your words – in this situation, actions really do speak louder.

match.com is the UK’s best known dating site where someone meets their match every ten minutes. Start your love story at match.com.

Love and dating are complex enough for people with plenty of time on their hands. But what happens if you have a demanding work or home life which leaves you little time for yourself?

Too often, the busiest people end up being the loneliest people, simply because they don’t get the opportunity to get to know people on the deeper level needed for real love and intimacy. Here are some tips for busy people to help increase their odds of finding love, despite their full schedules!

Take Part in Activities You Enjoy

The most natural approach to dating is to aim to meet people through your regular daily life. No matter how busy you are, incorporating your favourite activities into your everyday life is the perfect way to naturally meet with people who like doing the same things as you.

This might involve joining a club or group, or simply going out to do the things you like doing. It could be going to an art gallery or the library, taking part in sports like tennis or running or even just going out to the park or to the pub with friends.

If you try to do something you really enjoy once each day, you are far more likely to meet people who enjoy the same things – a big plus for someone you might start dating. And if you don’t meet anyone, you’ll still be having a great time!

Say ‘yes’ to Invitations

Busy people often feel a bit run down by the end of the day, and can get into the habit of turning down invitations which aren’t essential to their work or family duties. But you never know which party or social event might lead to meeting someone you could start dating.

Start saying ‘yes’ to all sorts of invitations and particularly embrace the events where you don’t already know everyone. This way you will have the opportunity to connect with a much wider social circle – an essential ingredient for an improved dating outlook.

Go Out When You Would Normally Stay In

There are lots of things we do at home which we could do elsewhere, and the more time we spend out in public, the more likely we are to meet new people. If you read or work on your computer at home, go to a cafe or sit outside to do these instead. You never know who you might bump into!

Try Online Dating

These days, more and more people are finding love online, and this is an ideal option for busy people. Online dating lets you stay ‘out there’ and opens up the possibilities of meeting all kinds of new people, in a very straightforward and simple way.

Online dating can make finding love a lot more likely – while your immediate circle of friends might all be coupled up, you can be sure to find hundreds of singles looking for love when you sign up for dating online. Signing up to an online dating site will improve your chances of finding dating partners who are right for you.

match.com is the UK’s best known dating site where someone meets their match every ten minutes. Start your love story at match.com.

Dating can be confusing for men. Should you focus on showing you’re a nice guy or aim to come across as and macho and strong?

Dating guides might encourage you to impress her with grand romantic gestures and unbounded admiration, but we know what women really want when dating, and it might surprise you! Here are the top four surprising traits which impress women when dating.

1. No grand gestures (just the smaller ones will do)

When we think of romance it can often conjure up images of grand gestures which will sweep a woman off her feet. While a giant bouquet of roses or an unexpected weekend in Paris are not to be sniffed at, you cannot buy a woman’s affection – it is the smaller gestures which will lead to approval.

Holding a door open for the person you are dating (in the right circumstances) shows good manners without being over the top. Try to emphasise your respect without making too much of a fuss – she will notice the little things and you will be able to keep up this behaviour over time (while too many mini-breaks could leave you bankrupt!)

2. An element of challenge

A lot of very good men fall down unnecessarily here with dating. Women love to be looked after to some extent, but don’t really need to have their every whim catered to by a man who quite obviously adores them from day one.

While treating a woman well is one thing, being an absolute pushover is never all that attractive, and this is the reason many ‘nice guys’ aren’t the ones who are the luckiest when it comes to dating. There is an element of ‘the thrill of the chase’ for both sexes, so bear this in mind and try not to put the woman you are dating on a pedestal straight away – let her impress you, too!

3. A stubborn streak

The woman you are dating might give the impression she wants you to change, but let her wrap you around her little finger and you could discover, changes made, that she’s lost interest after all. This is because most women, deep down, are a lot happier knowing their partner is a strong man who can speak up for himself.

If she does ask you to change, be very wary of doing it. That is, unless it’s a change you wanted to make anyway (like stopping smoking! That’s always a good idea). Try to stay true to yourself, while looking after her needs where you can, and she’ll respect you more for it.

4. Being unavailable

This does not equate to not calling back – that’s just rude! But a certain amount of unavailability can make for a longer lasting relationship. She might think she wants you to be around all the time but a little time apart can do wonders to keep the spark going between you.

If you aim to keep up your usual activities, such as meeting your friends and family or spending time on your hobbies, this should give enough down-time to your relationship to keep it burning hot when you’re together.

match.com is the UK’s best known dating site, where someone meets their match every ten minutes. Start your love story at match.com.

When are you most likely to find a date this year? Well, according to experts, your best bet might be to start looking for your match right at the beginning of the year. The first weekend in January will be a record date for dating, say aficionados. So try not to get too much of a hangover drinking on New Year’s Eve – you might miss out on ‘the one’! Here are the five reasons why January 2nd and 3rd is the ideal date to start dating and find love this year.

New Year’s resolutions

For millions of us, the New Year is a time to consider how we can improve our lives and make a range of New Year’s resolutions. Most of these will fall through, but the overall feeling is still one of energy, intent and hope. Resolutions might include giving up smoking, improved budgeting or eating more healthily. Whatever the resolutions, all this newly found resolve and purpose makes people feel more confident about the idea of dating, and finding love as well.

Dating sites

As dating sites gain popularity in the UK (meeting through online dating is now as popular as meeting someone at work) they are becoming the ideal place to look for a partner in a more systematic way. And when it comes to the New Year, we tend to approach things with a more dedicated and strategic approach following the down-time of Christmas. Instead of leaving it to chance, more and more people are taking the reins and improving their chances of finding love by signing up to dating sites.

Nosey relatives

With countless relatives ready to tell us precisely what they think we should do with our lives and plenty of time for them to emphasize their opinions over the Christmas period, the pressure to find love and settle down can be a little overwhelming. But the Christmas period can also be a natural time to take stock of our lives and think about what changes we might want to make for the future. Away from work and the buzz of the city over Christmas, the idea of dating in order to find a partner can start to seem like a priority, rather than a background possibility.

Soppy Christmas movies

There’s a tendency for Christmas movies to bring a tear to our eyes. There’s an unleashing of real soppiness and old-fashioned love stories which we wouldn’t watch during the rest of the year, but somehow feel drawn to over the festive period. Despite being cheesy, these movies make us realise our own desire to find love with someone special. As the New Year approaches, the idea of dating becomes more appealing – finding someone to watch all those soppy movies with!

The recession

The economic downturn has made people take stock of their lives in the face of adversity and think about what’s really important to them in the long term. As the financial world tumbles around us we are all looking for more permanence and stability – the kind offered by long-term love. Nearly two thirds of respondents to the LoveGeist, a recent survey on love and dating, said that finding love was more important to them now than it was a year ago.

match.com is the UK’s best known dating site where someone meets their match every ten minutes. Start your love story at match.com.

It seems that everyone is going through some type of dating site to meet people. And why not? It is probably the easiest, most convenient ways to meet someone, especially if you have limited contact with the public for whatever reason. Events are coordinated for you and all you have to do is show up. But there is still some confusion regarding just what it is and how it all works, so let’s break it down.

How do Dating Sites Work?

Dating sites are populated by a membership base that is dependent upon what people are looking for. Some are very focused on long term relationships or marriage, while others are geared more toward those folks who want to improve their social life. Still others, and probably the most popular ones, are a diverse group of various ages and dating goals. They host events, like speed dating, that bring singles together face to face, allowing them to interact and get to know each other.

Who can Benefit From Dating Sites?

Really, anyone can benefit from dating sites. Busy professionals, people who are shy or men and women who live in more remote areas are probably the most likely to turn to this type of dating. Face it, some people just need a little help in the meeting people department and when it comes to someone of the opposite sex, they may need a LOT of help! This means that anyone can benefit from dating sites, even you.

How can You Benefit From Dating Sites?

Joining a dating site is like having your own personal social organizer. They do all the planning and you have all the fun. You can check out speed dating or dinner date parties or some other fun event that your dating site has scheduled. This also eliminates the awkwardness of a first date. If you are talking to someone and they just don’t do it for you, you can excuse yourself and walk away. You are in no way obligated to stick with one person throughout the event just because you are on a date with them – because you aren’t! You both are on neutral territory.

What is Speed Dating?

Speed dating is a fun way to meet people face to face, learn a little about them and see if there is a match – only you multiply that by 6 or 8 or 10 in one evening. Your “date” starts, you sit down, talk a bit and in a few minutes, it is time to change “dates.” You do it again with a different person and again and again, all the while keeping track of who you liked, who interested you, who you would like to see again. At the end of the event, your coordinator tallies up the scores (your “dates” were keeping score too) and makes matches based on mutual attraction. The rest is up to you.

How can You get Started?

All you have to do is join a dating site and begin attending the events. Be friendly, but be on your best behavior, no taboo topics or salacious behavior – you’re trying to impress someone, for criminy’s sake! Most of all, though, relax and have a good time because that is what dating is really about.

Dating Sites provide many avenues to meet people within your age group. There is Speed Dating and Dinner Club services that will suit most ages. So if you are trying to meet that new person in your life you should give it a try.

We all like to be around people who make us feel good about ourselves, and that goes for men as much as for women. When you’re dating a man, a few choice phrases can go a long way to making him feel more confident, attractive and wanted. Here are the top 5 feel-good phrases to keep that sparkle in his eye through dating and beyond!

1. ‘Will you help me open this?’

It may not be all that politically correct to point this out, but helping women out with certain kinds of simple but traditionally male-type tasks can make a man feel more manly, macho and noble. There’s no need to ask the man you are dating for help with things you can manage by yourself, but when you could do with his assistance, don’t shy away from asking for it.

2. ‘You’re not losing your hair’

A lot of men are surprisingly sensitive about the issue of hair loss. If necessary, a little white lie on this front is sure to boost his spirits. ‘Is my hair getting thinner’ is the male equivalent of the question ‘does my bum look big in this?’- the answer has to be: ‘No – of course not!’ In any case, if his hair is thinning, there’s not all that much he can do about it, so there really isn’t any point in him worrying.

3. ‘You look good today’

Women may talk more often about their body worries, but men often have anxieties about their looks, just as we do (they just prefer to keep them to themselves!). Typically, men may worry about whether their clothes look right for the dating occasion, if their tummy looks too big and whether their facial hair is in good shape. Complimenting his appearance as soon as you see him will put all those fears to rest – giving him the opportunity to focus all that attention on you!

4. ‘You’re right’

It is easy to get into the habit of pointing out someone’s mistakes when they’re talking to you. This can be an important part of a lively discussion and playfulness, but we all like to be right from time to time. If you let the man you are dating know you think he is right about certain things (as long as you actually do think so), it will give him confidence to speak his mind, and it will let him know you are happy to be on his side.

5. ‘I love it when you do that’

Communication is very valuable when it comes to intimacy and this is the perfect way to guide the man you are dating while letting him initiate the behaviour in the first place – thus giving him the impression of being in charge in a manly way. If you like it when he strokes your hair or whispers something in your ear, for example, tell him so. This will make him feel like a man and give him the confidence to initiate your favourite kinds of intimate gestures more often. Keep giving him this kind of positive feedback and the results will speak for themselves.

match.com is the UK’s biggest dating site. With thousands of new members joining every day you won’t have a better chance of finding love online anywhere else.

As a man, we know it can sometimes be difficult to fathom what women are thinking and what they expect from you when dating. That’s why we’ve put together a selection of hints and tips from real women who want to give men a helping hand in how to behave when dating them.

1. ‘Call us back straight away’

We know you were told when you were a teenager that you should wait three days to call after dating a girl for the first time. Well we’re all sick of this rule now and will just get fed up and bored if we have to wait for you to play this game. Be a grown-up and call us by the next day or, even better, set up the next date during the first. Otherwise we’ll probably just move on.

2. ‘We are afraid of commitment’

There seems to be a general assumption amongst many men that the women they are dating are inevitably trying to guide them gently toward their end goal: full ensnarement in the form of marriage and children, as soon as humanly possible. Any evidence to the contrary is taken to be part of the overall plan to confuse and entrap our prey. This mentality can be very frustrating for those of us who genuinely don’t feel the need to get married (at least not yet). Many of us are just as frightened of long-term commitment as you are.

3. ‘Keep eye contact brief’

Eye contact the perfect first step if you see a woman you would like to get to start dating. But too long and it can be unnerving, because it feels as though we’re being watched. Keep eye contact as brief and as natural as possible, just enough so we think you might be interested, and then turn away for a bit. It gives us time to prepare to meet you and think over what we might say.

4. ‘We need reassurance’

Most women tend to take a lot longer getting ready than most men do, and perhaps, we admit, that can partly be put down to vanity. But the main reason we take so much time preening and dressing ourselves when dating is an innate and ingrained sense of self-consciousness, which most men, we think, genuinely don’t experience on anything like the same level. So we react extremely well to reassurance, about our looks, about are many talents, about anything, really. Keep the compliments flowing (and sound like you mean it) and basically we’ll be happy.

5. ‘We care whether you can dance’

It may be an old wives’ tale, but we’ve all heard the saying that you can tell what a man is like in bed by what he’s like on the dance floor, and a lot of us believe it. The idea seems to be that the two skill sets, both being physical, are intimately connected, so dancing can act as a virtual test run for what might be in store for us in the future. If you can’t dance and you’re dating, it could be a good idea to learn, if only to get beyond the disco dance floor and onto a second date.

match.com is the UK’s biggest dating site. With thousands of new members joining every day you won’t have a better chance of finding love online anywhere else.

London has some of the best restaurants, bars and theatres in the world, but it also has some quirkier treasures to help keep dating a fresh experience. Here are some of the places you can take your date in the capital for a slightly more unexpected outing, including tiny houses, surgical exhibits and a famous toy shop.

Smallest homes in London

If you and your dating partner really hit it off, perhaps one day you’ll be buying a house together. Time to start saving so you can afford one a bit bigger than these!

Head to West London and Goldhawk Road in Shepherd’s Bush and you’ll come across a two bedroom house, previously owned by photographer Juergen Teller and appropriately slim for the fashion models he photographed there. Despite being 3m at its widest point, this house recently went on the market for £595,000.

Meanwhile, at a tiny three feet wide at its smallest, 10 Hyde Park Place at Marble Arch is the smallest house in London. It was built in 1805, bombed in 1941 and only ever had one tenant, Mr Lewis Grant Wallace. The building is now occupied by nuns as part of Tyburn Convent, a building worth visiting in itself for its spooky atmosphere and bizarre collection of relics.

Ideal if: the person you are dating is an architecture buff

Don’t even think about it if: your dating partner is vicariously claustrophobic

The Hunterian Museum

The Hunterian Museum at Holborn (also known as The Royal College of Surgeons of England) is filled with medical curiosities and body parts from the last four hundred years, as well as anatomical sketches, surgical and dental instruments. This gruesome but captivating attraction will make for an unusual dating experience, not for the faint-hearted.

The original collection of exhibits was purchased from Jon Hunter by the government in 1799, forming the basis of the museum, which opened in 1813. It is one of the largest collections of its kind and contains nearly 65,000 specimens. Probably better not to attempt this attraction immediately after lunch.

Ideal if: the person you are dating is curious about medicine

Don’t even think about it if: your dating partner is squeamish

Hamley’s Toy Store

Perhaps the most iconic toy shop in the world, Hamley’s on Regent Street is a major tourist attraction with about five million visitors every year. The name comes from William Hamley, who founded the Noah’s Ark toy shop at High Holborn in 1760. A Regent Street branch opened in 1881 and the Holborn branch burned down 1901. At one point, the current premises was the largest toy shop in the world.

If you’re considering taking your dating partner here, aim for a time when kids are in school and don’t even attempt a visit in the run up to Christmas, or your dating partner might simply be lost forever in the seasonal stampede.

Ideal if: the person you are dating wants to channel their inner child

Don’t even think about it if: your dating partner can’t stand children

match.com is the UK’s biggest dating site. With thousands of new members joining every day, you won’t have a better chance of finding love online anywhere else.

Is ‘love at first sight’ real, and could it happen to you? If you are hoping to experience this age-old phenomenon while dating, read on to find out more about what it means and how to tell if you might have experienced love at first sight when you first met your dating partner, and whether you should even aim for lightning bolts when dating or simply relax and go with the flow.

Where does the idea of ‘love at first sight’ come from?

The concept of ‘love at first sight’ is thought to have originated in the classical world, where it meant an intense, passionate love delivered by the mythological character Cupid and his arrows when a person beheld the object of their affections for the first time. The Greeks described it as ‘madness from the gods’, and also came up with the idea of ‘love sickness’, a feeling of overwhelming longing and desire, arising when one of Cupid’s arrows pierces the heart.

What we believe now

These days, while we may not imagine Cupid to be so intimately involved in our choice of dating partners, many of us still hold true to romantic ideas of ‘the one’ – the idea that there is one perfect partner for everyone – and to the notion that for some people it is clear who this one perfect partner is from the moment they set eyes on them. But are these concepts based in reality or are they just wishful thinking, and how helpful are they when it comes to navigating today’s dating scene?

What is happening with ‘love at first sight’?

According to research, the intoxicating sensation of love at first sight can, in fact, be explained in a scientific way as a response of the ego to social signals. A major aspect of the experience is thought to be that our narcissistic side responds powerfully to the notion that someone is attracted to us.

Along with being attracted to a person’s appearance, it is possible to tell almost instantly due to minute changes in body language if they are interested in us and to be affected by that, too. Studies have shown that, on a very basic level, we are attracted to people who are attracted to us, and this is a major factor when choosing dating partners.

‘When will waiting for ‘the one’… be done?’

As this quote from fictional love and dating expert Carrie in Sex and the City illustrates, for many the concept of ‘the one’ is unhelpful, and the idea of ‘love at first sight’ can be, as well. If you are unsatisfied with anything but lightning bolts and absolute certainty from the offset that you and the person you are dating are a perfect match, you may reject endless perfectly good dating partners and never find a life partner at all.

In these circumstances it would, arguably, be better for those who want to share a life with someone to ignore ideas of ‘love at first site’ and ‘the one’ when dating, in favour of a more practical approach: ‘I can see myself being very happy with this person’. In the end, it’s up to the individual to decide.

match.com is the UK’s biggest dating site. With thousands of new members joining every day, you won’t have a better chance of finding love online anywhere else.